Its Raining Kittens
by SunnyInOregon
Summary: Life is hard enough but when you are two months old it can be even harder; unless you meet the right people.
1. Chapter 1 Terror In The Night

**It's Raining Kittens **

**Part 1: Terror in the Night**

**Summary: Life is hard enough but when you are two months old it can be even harder; unless you meet the right people.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own them. I'm just playing with them.**

**Notes: My entry in the CCOAC challenge. The challenge – write from the pets point of view. My pet is a two month old kitten named Gunner and the main character is David Rossi.**

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

"What the hell is that?" I wonder aloud as I look around in the dark. The water dripping on my head was making it difficult to see. In the distance a bright light appeared along with a loud rumble that was getting louder as the light was getting brighter. I shrank closer to the wet pavement below me hoping that whatever this was coming at me would not try to kill me.

Two hours ago I was a happy kitty tucked in the bosom of my mommy and sleeping like the baby I am. I have a vague recollection of being picked up by a human, which wasn't unusual. I was always being picked up and carried around but this time was different. The hands were a little rougher and I wasn't cuddled to the breast as I usually had been. Next thing I knew I was flying through the air in the dark landing in a thick patch of mud.

"I need a place to hide," I wailed as the rumbling got louder and the light got brighter. I glanced from side to side trying to see somewhere to go and hide.

"Over there!" I told myself. The light revealed a large bush about twenty feet away. The light was nearly on top of me as I started to run to the bush. Something brushed my leg and tail just before the world began to spin violently. The loud noise filled my ears as the world went dark.

There was a screech and suddenly I heard a human voice. "Shit! I just hit something. I don't know. It could be an opossum or a skunk. No, it wasn't a baby, because babies don't run like that."

A small light flashed over me as I lay on the ground trying to catch my breath. I could hear the human move closer to me.

'Oh my God,' I thought, 'it's going to squish me.'

"It's a cat," the human said. He was apparently talking to someone though I couldn't hear the other human speaking. "I don't think so. It looks like its breathing."

I felt his hand laying against my side then he, I think it is a he as his voice is a lot deeper than my Mommy's humans voice, he wrapped his fingers gently around me and lifted me up. I opened my eyes and looked directly into his.

"Hello kitten," he said softly.

'He has whiskers!' I thought as I looked at him closely.

"Hello," I replied.

He chuckled and tucked me close to his chest.

"I'm talking to the cat," he grumbled unexpectedly. "Actually, it's a kitten; a very young kitten by the looks of it. (pause) I'm taking it home. (another pause) Should I bring it to your house?"

He carried me over to the loud noise maker and held me close as he moved things around. He smelled like the outdoors and yet very human. It wasn't unpleasant, in fact, I kind of like it. Suddenly he set me down on a soft padded area that smelled like him. I lay down and shivered. I was wet, muddy and I hate to admit it – scared.

"Where's my Mommy?" I asked plaintively.

The human reached over and rubbed my head then tucked the fabric closer around me.

"Hey," the human said again. "I'll call you later. Yeah I have the kitty. I told you, I'm taking it home. Okay, goodbye."

The human went quiet. I could hear the rumbling noise again only this time it sounded like a throbbing hum and it felt like we were moving even though the human was sitting. His hands and arms were moving but even at my young age I know humans don't walk like that. Warmth was seeping into my skin; I was rocking gently back and forth listening to the rhythmic humming as my eyes closed.

"Come on kitty," the human said. I felt myself being picked up but he wasn't touching me. The fabric was wrapped around me creating a cocoon of warmth. He carried me into a house and sat me on a chair. "You stay there."

"I'm not going anywhere," I told him as he moved away. My tummy rumbled and I wondered if the human was going to feed me. Did he know what to feed me? "I need my Mommy's milk," I yelled to him.

He was moving around in the other room. I don't think he heard me. I yelled to him again a little bit louder. "Hey! I need my Mommy's milk!"

Wait! How's he going to get my Mommy's milk? Does he know my Mommy? Maybe he does! All humans know each other, right? Oh, I don't know. I don't remember seeing this human before. Besides, if he really knew my Mommy why would he bring me here instead of taking me to her? OH MY GAWD! I may never see my Mommy again.

I started crying earnestly, my body trembling from the effort. "I want my Mommy!" I cried. I was so caught up in my tears that I didn't hear the human coming back into the room.

"Easy there," the human said softly as he picked me up again and cradled me to his chest. He rubbed his finger against my nose and mouth.

"Hey!" I sputtered indignantly. His finger was wet and whatever had been on it was now on me. I slipped my tongue out to remove the offending liquid. It was warm and it tasted like… it almost tasted like my Mommy's milk. It was sweet and rather yummy.

The human rubbed his finger on my face again. I lapped at the liquid again. The next time his finger approached my face I licked it before he could rub it on me. We repeated this process several times before he held a container near my face. I sniffed at it, it smelled like the stuff he had been putting on my face. I lowered my nose into the container and tentatively lapped at the liquid.

My tongue suddenly had a mind of its own as it lapped faster and faster at the warm liquid. It only took a couple of minutes to empty the container. I'm ashamed to say I even licked the bottom and sides of the container not leaving a single drop behind. The human chuckled as I licked my whiskers. He set the container down and picked up a piece of fabric that he proceeded to rub me with. The fabric was slightly damp but at least it was warm. He rubbed me for several minutes then put that fabric down and grabbed another one. This one was dry and made me feel a little tingly. I felt so good I started to purr in joy.

The human chuckled again. "You like that, do you? Your tummy's full and you're warm and happy. I bet it feels good to get that dirt off. Tomorrow we'll find a brush and clean you up even better. At least I can see that you are mostly white now."

He held me in the air in front of his face and turned me around several times. I was starting to feel a little sick and I told him so. Finally he stopped spinning me and put me back on the cushy fabric.

"Now that you've been fed I'm going to get something for myself," he told me. He wandered away again and I heard him opening and closing drawers and cupboards as he sang to himself. I don't know what he was singing but he sounded pretty good. He came back into the room and sat next to me. I sniffed appreciatively at the air. He was eating some sort of meat thing, it smelled really good.

I tumbled across the fabric towards him to get a better look. He chuckled and moved the plate away as I crawled onto his lap. I watched as he pulled a piece of something brownish from one hand and dangled it in front of my nose. I sniffed at it; it smelled even better up close. I tentatively reached out and took it from his fingers then swallowed it.

"ACK! I can't breathe!"

Luckily, the human saw my dilemma and pulled the offending whatever it was out of my throat.

"That's roast beef," the human admonished. "You need to chew it!"

"Chew it?" I asked. "What the hell?"

The human took the, what did he call it? Roast beef? And divided it into smaller pieces for me to eat. I cautiously took another piece. Much better this time at least I didn't choke. This human was okay. I finished my delicacies and curled up on his lap to take a nap.

"You know kitty," the human murmured as he stroked my head. "I can't keep you. You wouldn't like living with me. I'm gone a lot and I get kind of grouchy. We need to find you a new home."

I wasn't exactly sure what he was talking about so I just turned up the volume on my purring and settled in for my nap.

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

"What the hell is that?" I wondered as I looked around in the dark. I blinked the sleep from my eyes and tried to locate the source of the noise in the dark room. The human had carried me upstairs and made me a bed out of fluffy fabrics. It was comfy but very lonely. I huddled in the fabrics and fell asleep. But now it is dark and I am alone and something is making a horrendous noise.

"Human?" I called out carefully. I don't know where the human went. I fell asleep while he was in another room. There was movement on the large box in front of me. "Human?"

The noise stopped but I was still scared. I stumbled off of the pile of fabrics I had been sleeping on and moved closer to where the human was sleeping. It was too tall for me to jump up on however there was a fabric hanging down. I stood on my back legs and sunk my front claws into the fabric and began pulling myself up. It was difficult at first but when I was high enough to use my rear claws too it got really easy.

Once I reached the top I looked back over the edge – it was a long way down. A shiver of fear ran through my little body. I shook it off and made my way across the abyss of fabric to where the humans' head lay.

"Human?" I said softly. "Are you awake?"

I navigated the bumps and valleys where the human lay until I reached his face. His eyes were closed and warm streams of air were coming out of his mouth. He looked peaceful. I decided not to wake him and instead moved even closer to his face. His warm breath felt good in the chilly night air. I snuggled up as close as I could curling into a ball and falling asleep.

**End part 1**


	2. Chapter 2 You Belong To Me

**It's Raining Kittens **

**Part 2: **

**Summary: Life is hard enough but when you are two months old it can be even harder; unless you meet the right people.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own them. I'm just playing with them.**

**Notes: My entry in the CCOAC challenge. The challenge – write from the pets point of view. My pet is a two month old kitten named Gunner and the main character is David Rossi.**

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

"What. The. Hell," the human yelled loudly waking me from a very nice dream where I was eating roast beef and getting my tummy rubbed. I opened my eyes and blinked at him. His nose was inches from mine. "Did you have an accident?"

"No. I did it on purpose," I told him.

"What am I going to do with you?" he muttered.

I blinked again not knowing how to answer that question. He sat up and ran his hand across the end of the bed.

"Shit!" he cursed. "Did you have to pee on the bed?"

"Yes," I replied. "Where else would I pee?"

I always peed in the bed so did my brothers and sisters. It was no big deal. Mommy's human changed out our bedding everyday. The human slid out of the bed grumbling to himself as he walked out of the room.

"Are you getting breakfast," I hollered as he closed the door. I stared at the door for a moment then snuggled back into the fabrics and fell asleep.

I awoke to the human once again carrying me someplace. He set me on a flat, cold, hard surface and stepped over to a big box. I watched as he picked up various items and moved around the room.

"Well kitty," the human said warmly. "Would you like some milk for breakfast? Maybe a little tuna fish? You have to promise me you'll chew it before you swallow."

"Does it taste like that roast beef I had last night?" I asked. "That stuff was pretty good."

He placed a bowl filled with liquid in front of me. I sniffed at it and once again my tongue went crazy. It was that milk stuff again. I lapped so quickly that some of it went up my nose. I sneezed in surprise.

"Easy," the human said gently. He reached over and rubbed my back. I couldn't help myself I arched into his touch and began to purr. The human chuckled. "Oh yeah you're hating all of this."

"Don't stop," I pleaded when he stepped away. I dropped my head back to the liquid and continued drinking as I watched him move around the room. After several minutes he sat a plate of something that smelled delicious on the surface a foot away from me. I sniffed at it.

"This is mine," he said warningly. He stepped away again and opened a door. A few seconds later there was a whirring noise and a click. He dumped whatever it was on a plate and carried it closer to me.

"You won't share," I asked. "You shared last night. What is that?"

I was suddenly distracted by the most tantalizing smell ever. He placed the plate in front of me then sat down. I sniffed at the pile of meat on the plate.

"Take your time," the human said as he started eating the food in front of him.

I took a tentative bite. Not bad, in fact it was very good. Kind of tangy, soft to chew, easy to swallow – I could get use to this.

"Don't get use to that kitty," the human said as he chewed his own food. "That's tuna fish and I don't think Penelope is going to feed you tuna fish. More likely you'll get dry food. I think you'll like her, she's good people. I call her Kitten."

I finished my breakfast at the same time as the human. I sat down and looked at the human as he moved the dishes to another area. A small burp escaped as I lay down for a nap, my tummy was really full!

"Hey wake up!" the human said as he picked me up. "It's time to go to work."

"Work? What is that?" I wondered.

We went outside and climbed into the big noisy box on wheels. He set me down next to him and the rumbling started.

"What the hell!" I yelled at him. I felt the box moving.

"It's ok," he said softly. He laid his hand on my back and softly stroked me.

"You're not taking me back to that mud-hole are you?"

He continued to stroke my fur and talk softly to me. I was still in a bit of a panic but I allowed myself to be soothed. I lay down and closed my eyes hoping that when I opened them again we would be back on the big soft bed.

We stopped somewhere and the human started talking to someone else I couldn't see then he grabbed two cups of some smelly liquid from outside the big moving box. The box on wheels started moving again and the human pushed a button causing music to waft throughout the enclosure. I settled down and waited to see where he was taking us next.

The human parked the box shutting off all the noise and opening the door. He picked me up then tried to pick up both cups of the smelly liquid. Apparently that wasn't working so he tucked me into the crook of his arm then moved to pick up the cups.

"Hey!" I squawked as he squeezed too tight. "Watch what you're doing bud!"

"This isn't working," the man muttered. He set me back in the box. I was just catching my breath when he picked me up again and slid me into a tight shaft that smelled like a dead cow.

"What the hell," I protested. His jacket closed over me cutting out all of the light as we started to move. "Let me out of here!"

"Quiet," the man said soothingly.

"Quiet? You want me to be quiet? I can't see anything and it stinks in here!" I yelled at him.

"What is that noise?" another male voice asked.

"It's my new gun," the human replied. He had stopped moving thankfully. I was getting quite jostled in this position.

"Your new gun?" the other voice asked.

The jacket was suddenly pulled back and I blinked in the harsh light.

"Oh thank you!" I sighed. I sucked in a lungful of fresh air.

"What is that?" the other man inquired incredulously.

The jacket closed again as the human shrugged. "A kitten; I almost ran the damn thing over on my way home last night."

"What did you bring it here for?"

"I'm going to give it to Garcia," the human announced.

"Excuse me!" I cried. "What's a Garcia?"

Both humans chuckled and we started moving again. I put my claws out to keep myself from slipping further into the narrow shaft. The human stopped again and I heard several voices talking back and forth.

"Kitten, I have something for you," the human said sounding happy.

"Are you talking to me?" I asked.

"What?" a female voice asked. The jacket was pulled back again and the human lifted me out of the shaft. I cried in relief as my rear legs were getting jammed in there and I was losing feeling in my feet. "Oh it's so cute!"

The female human took me in her hands and crunched me to her breast. I could barely breathe and when I did I got a big whiff of something flowery.

"Let me go," I protested. "I can't breathe!"

The female held me up and looked at my belly. "What's her name," she asked excitedly.

"Gunner," the male human replied.

I beamed. I liked that name. It was tough, it was rough, it was me!

"Gah," the woman responded. "It's a girl, Dragnet. You can't call a girl Gunner!"

"Sure you can," I interjected.

"See even the kitty hates it," the woman announced.

Obviously she couldn't understand me like the male human could.

"Call it whatever you want," the male human said. "It's yours now."

"What?" I screamed. "You can't do that! That's not how this works. I get to pick and I pick you! You're my human!"

I watched as my human turned and walked away ignoring my pleas to him. The female human cuddled me close again and tried to whisper soothing things in my ear but I was having none of that. I wriggled and strained trying to free myself from her grasp to no avail. I was stuck, for now.

I lobbied for my freedom while she carried me around and babbled in my ear. I was listening to none of it. After what felt like hours I realized my pleas were not being heard so I fell silent and worked on my plan of escape. The female human continued to babble at me. She had set me on the surface in front of her and I curled into a ball conserving my strength for my escape.

"I've got it," the female human shouted excitedly.

I popped my head up and looked at her. "Don't give it to me!" I exclaimed.

She giggled and squeezed her hands together. "I found the perfect name for you."

"Gunner?" I suggested.

"Listen to this," she smiled. "Petunia." 

"Excuse me?" I shook my head. I must still be asleep.

"Penelope and Petunia," she gushed. "It's perfect."

I growled and curled into a ball again. "I don't think so," I muttered to myself.

She continued to babble about names and such as I tuned her out trying to concentrate on my escape plan. As it turned out Mother Nature helped me put my plan into action. Breakfast was starting to catch up to me and, well, I had another accident. And it wasn't just the wet kind either. Whew! And even I had to object to the smell.

"Oh my Gawd," the female human howled. "What is that smell? Petunia! What did you eat?"

I grinned and blinked at her as she covered her mouth and nose with her hand and rushed out of the room. I followed quickly behind her and slid through the gap just as the door was closing. The female didn't even notice me. She ran off down the hallway, I turned and ran the other direction back to where my human had gone.

The voices got louder as I made my way down the hallway and into the big room. I slipped under a desk and observed the situation. The human that had been talking to my human was sitting in a chair with his feet propped up. There was another male, not my human, and two other female humans all gathered together. I crouched down and waited not sure where my human had gone. I had time and I was very patient. It wasn't too long though before the female human, Penelope, appeared in the big room.

"Has anyone seen Petunia," she asked.

"Who?" the first man asked.

"Petunia! The kitten Dave gave me," she stated tearfully.

'So that's my human's name,' I noted. 'Dave.'

She sounded rather upset but I didn't let it dissuade me from my mission. My name is Gunner and I belong to Dave!

The female human was making such a scene that several people began gathering around. I was getting a little confused with all the humans and the noise they were making. They started to split up and looked under the desks. Some of them even called out "here kitty kitty" like that's going to work.

"What's going on?" a deep voice asked.

My ears perked up and I almost gave away my position in my excitement. It was my human, Dave! He was standing with another man listening to Penelope pour out her sob story about how she lost me. Pffftttt, I escaped! I shifted my position as the humans were once again distracted and moved closer to my target.

"Well she's has to be around here somewhere," Dave reassured the female. "Did you check the kitchen? Maybe she got hungry."

"Speaking of which," Penelope grimaced. "What did you feed that poor thing?"

"Milk and tuna fish," Dave replied blandly.

"Ugh!" the female human cried. "Oh my Gawd! Next time you get to clean it up!"

Dave chuckled and shook his head. "Not happening."

"We need to find this cat before Strauss does," the other male human stated.

"Right," Dave agreed. They all started to move apart again.

"Dave, you and Garcia check the kitchen," the male human directed. "The rest of us will check out here."

Dave and the female human started to walk past me and I made my move. I jumped out from under the desk and grabbed Dave's pant leg quickly shimmying up as high as I could. I reached his shoulder and sank my claws in for purchase.

"Ow," Dave yelled. "Son of a … I found her!"

"Sorry about that," I apologized.

"Petunia!" the female cried as she reached for me. I sank my claws in deeper and growled.

"Stop," Dave breathed painfully as he held his hand up in front of the human. "She's dug into my shoulder."

"Let me get her off of you," the female human offered.

"Don't touch her," another female voice ordered. Everyone stopped and Dave turned slightly. It was a small blond female speaking. "You need to let her calm down and release Dave on her own or she'll rip him to shreds."

"How do you suggest we calm her down?" Dave asked sounding strained.

"You should probably seclude yourself in your office until she feels safe," the blond female suggested.

I liked that idea. Just me and my human. What could be better?

"Ok," Dave agreed. "How long should it take?"

The blond human shrugged. "Depends on the cat."

Dave swiveled his head to look at me. "Really?" he asked.

"Yep," I replied then I licked his nose for good measure. He was mine and I was not letting go.


	3. Chapter 3 Making Friends

**It's Raining Kittens **

**Part 3: Making Friends**

**Summary: Life is hard enough but when you are two months old it can be even harder; unless you meet the right people.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own them. I'm just playing with them.**

**Notes: My entry in the CCOAC challenge. The challenge – write from the pets point of view. My pet is a two month old kitten named Gunner and the main character is David Rossi.**

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

I held on as best I could as Dave took me up a ramp and into a smaller room. He closed the door and walked around a desk before sitting down somewhat awkwardly.

"We're all alone," he announced. "Are you going to let go now?"

"Net yet," I told him as I looked around at the room. I sniffed the air appreciatively. It smelled like he spent a lot of time in here. I settled onto his shoulders and relaxed my claws slightly.

"I would really appreciate it if you would take your claws all the way out," he grumbled. He reached up with one hand and rubbed my head. Closing my eyes I twisted my head further into his touch. I couldn't stop the purr from rumbling in my throat.

"I can't say as I blame you for running away," he said absently. "I had no idea she would try to name you Petunia."

He sounded as disgusted by the name as I was. Thinking back over the short time span I realized that she wasn't a bad human, I just preferred _this_ human. I perched on his shoulder while Dave looked at a large pile of papers, talked on the phone and spoke to me. I decided to take a chance and loosened my claws from his skin.

I felt and heard him sigh. "Are you coming down now?" he asked.

I jumped off of his shoulder onto the top of the desk scattering a pile of papers as I went. Dave grabbed at the papers and shuffled them together before moving them to another part of the desk. I sat down and looked at him.

"What am I going to do with you now?" he asked.

I blinked at him.

"I don't suppose you want to try again with Penelope?"

"No way," I said loudly. "You want some more holes in your shoulder?"

He sighed as he leaned back in the chair and stared at me. "You really are cute," he admitted. "What the hell kind of cat are you?"

"Heck if I know," I meowed at him.

We stared at each other for several minutes, he sitting back in his chair stroking his whiskers and me sitting on the desk not blinking. A knock at the door startled both of us. I growled pre-emptively as the door began to open slowly. A blond head appeared; it wasn't the crazy lady.

"How's it going?" the woman asked.

"Well I am no longer a human pincushion," Dave laughed.

I stood up and re-positioned myself so that I could keep an eye on the woman even though she was leaning against the doorframe and looking like she had no intention of coming further into the room.

"You going to keep her?" the woman asked with a nod towards me.

"You want her?" Dave asked. I flicked my tail and gave him a quick glare.

The woman chuckled. "No thank you! I like my life just the way it is."

"It's just a cat," he stated breezily.

"A cat that has attached herself to you emotionally and physically," the woman reminded.

Dave reached up and rubbed his shoulder. "Thanks for the reminder, JJ."

"You're welcome," she smiled. "Seriously, Dave, I think you have a new addition to your family. That kitty is firmly attached to you."

Dave snorted and leaned forward in his seat to pet me. I couldn't help the purr that emanated from my being.

"Don't stop," I told him happily.

"Do you have any idea what kind of cat this is?" he asked as he continued to stroke my fur.

"It's a little early to be certain but I believe you have yourself a Siamese," the woman named JJ told him.

"Huh," he grunted. "Are those good cats?"

"They are very loyal," JJ stated. "We had one when I was a kid. She was a good mouser. She hated my brother. Or maybe she loved him." The woman laughed. "She use to kill mice in the middle of the night and put them on my brothers' pillow while he was asleep."

"Gunner," Dave said lowly. "I swear to God, cat, if you do that to me I will throw you in the closet."

"I solemnly swear not to leave mice on your pillow," I assured him.

JJ laughed again. "I swear that cat is talking to you."

Dave smiled. "Of course she is, we have a thing."

"A thing?"

Dave shrugged.

"Well, you may want to take your cat and go to the pet store," JJ half-ordered.

"What for?" Dave asked.

"Well, let's see… cat food, kitty litter, a litter box, toys, a bed, a carrier. The list goes on and on."

Dave frowned. "I didn't think about any of that."

He sat back in his chair and groaned. "I just remembered, she peed on my bed this morning and I forgot to change the sheets."

JJ laughed. "Well that is not going to smell very nice when you get home."

Dave sighed again and rubbed his face. "Why do I feel like I am beginning something I will regret?"

"David Rossi!" JJ admonished. "The love of a pet is never to be taken for granted or regretted."

"Duly noted," Dave replied. "Well Gunner, shall we go shopping?"

I looked at him and smiled. "I'm going where you're going."

He stood up and picked me up cuddling me to his chest. "You want to come along?" he asked JJ.

She shook her head. "I don't think Hotch would approve of both of us going out. Besides I have a ton of work to do."

"Okay," he shrugged as we walked out the door. "Gunner and I will venture out on our own."

"I'll take care of you Dave," I told him as we walked down the ramp.

"So what's the verdict?" the dark skinned man asked. The crazy lady was sitting in a chair and the dark skinned man was leaning against the desk that sat nearby.

"Sorry kitten," Dave said solemnly. "I think Gunner and I are going to be an item."

The crazy lady smiled. "That's okay, Dave. I understand."

"Where are you going?" the dark haired woman asked.

"Pet store," Dave said shortly. "You coming with me?"

"Hell yeah," the woman said. "I know cats."

"Good. I need a lot of stuff apparently," Dave told her.

We left with the dark haired woman to begin our next adventure.

**The End**


End file.
